It’s been forever since I posted a Netflix playlist.
Partly because Netflix is pissing me off.
I don’t understand why they have made it so hard to browse through their listings! It’s a freaking pain to find things that aren’t on the front page of their website.
I feel like they are those girls that you read about in “Chick Lit” novels (more on the genre and those women next week) who try to shield their lovers from seeing their bodies in the daylight. I feel like I say the same things the dudes in those books are always saying. I want to say, LOOK Netflix. I like your curves, OK? I like the fact that you have some really weird titles and maybe some really bad ones as well. That’s what made me love you in the first place!
I don’t know why the people at Netflix think that I, as a viewer, want to have to scroll horizontally for ages to find something that I could easily scan a list for, but I AM OVER IT.
I feel like the designers of their site need to take a moment and think about how to woo their subscribers. Why not watch a few romantic comedies to get them in the mood? Here, I’ll even give ’em a list.
1. Eagle Vs. Shark: Find someone to love you for your quirky self, just like Lily and Jarrod do in this film starring Jemaine Clement from Flight of The Conchords fame. NETFLIX, I love your quirky listings, like this one!
2. My Last Five Girlfriends: Look back at where you’ve been and what worked and what didn’t. NETFLIX, I used to think your interface was difficult, but now you’ve changed it up so much I don’t even recognize you.
3. The Decoy Bride: You think that your customers are like David Tennant in this film. You treat us as if we want all that flash and gloss, when really we just want a lovely and down to earth experience like the one he has with Kelly Macdonald.
4. Barry Munday: It doesn’t take having your testicles removed in an accident, like Patrick Wilson in this movie, to realize what has great quality. Let your customers see all that you have to offer, they will fall in love with you, just like Mr. Wilson does with Judy Greer in this film.
5.Sweet Liberty: Stop trying to impress the younger folks! Just like Alan Alda, in this film, trying to seduce Michelle Pfeiffer, It’s embarrassing. Just because some people say you need to compete with On Demand services and iTunes, don’t listen! Be yourself. Your brilliant and varied self. People will still love you for it.
6. How to Marry A Millionare: Allowing your customers to easily navigate the entirety of the films you have available to watch instantly is a kindness to those who love you. Just like the women in this film have to let the men they fall in love with get to know the REAL them. You shouldn’t hide your glasses in your handbag, Netflix. We will love you anyway.
I hope after watching these suggested films those at Netflix take my advice and make some radical changes to the way you can interact with their website.