It’s not every night that you see what is most possibly the worst and best film of all time. Lucky enough for you, that night came for me just a two short weeks ago. I was sitting on my couch knitting, minding my own business really, when I decided to fire up the ol’ telly. When one is looking for something to watch, I know that many people are into lots and lots of channels, but me, I’d be fine with just one. That’s right, I’m sure you know, because really it is the pinnacle of awesomeness. It informs and intimidates, all with C or D level actors. That’s right! The Lifetime Movie Network! They like to call themselves LMN, and I’d really like to start the usage of that in everyday settings. Much like the oft used FML (fuck my life), I think when your boyfriend has locked you in the closet and is choking your would be savior and hot hunky neighbor on the stairs, you shouldn’t think CALL 911! Or Sweet Jebus save me! But just give an eyeroll, a knowing smirk, and an LMN, because GURL, you are having a Lifetime Movie Network moment.
That’s right, it’s the channel that plays non-stop stories of women in peril, or in love which most often leads to peril. Although there is the rare switch up of women in peril who then fall in love. I absolutely love this channel. What’s great is you don’t have to watch a whole show to get the jist of it. I will fold a little load of laundry and catch 10 minutes of a show and be good, so good for the rest of the day. I don’t have to know who that guy is burying in the yard, I just know it is without a doubt a woman.
So to get back to me, there I was sitting on my couch, ready for a little LMN moment. WELL, was I in for a treat. I caught the first five minutes of a show called Her Only Child. It was also released as Maternal Obsession. I think they probably changed the name for parents like me who were like, What? That’s such a bad thing?
From the moment I tune in I am captivated. I joined in a little late, and the first thing I see is a frizzy haired lady spraying an aerosol can of something at imaginary spiders, her eyes literally bugging out of her head. I know I have seen her in tons of stuff, but I can’t think of a one right now. It was so amazing and enthralling that I put my knitting aside. This obviously demanded my whole attention. It turns out it also stars that girl from The Nanny & that guy from Models Inc.
The clip above really gives you the whole story, but I tweeted about my favorite parts:
I just absolutely love that we are supposed to think this woman is bat shit crazy, but on some days, I totally feel that insanely overprotective of my kids. (ASK ANYONE THEY WILL AGREE.) So maybe everyday is a LMN kinda day for me, but this show entertained in every way possible. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me scared, and it made me think.
Overall I give it: